Where does the time go. . .

Twins
There's two to wash
There's two to dry,
There's two who argue
There's two who cry.

One's in the mud
Having a ball
The other holds a crayon
Another marked wall.

Some days seem endless
My patience grows thin.
Why was I chosen
To be a Mother of Twins?

The answer comes clear
At the end of each day,
As I tuck them in bed
And to myself I say.

There's two to kiss
There's two to hug.
And best of all
There's two to love.

When I went to the hospital to have these two I didn't know what I was in for. Sure I had two other kids and should know how to take care of a baby but they came in different years. I had one baby to one mom and that was the way it is supposed to be. I committed myself to nursing them before they were even born and accepted the challenge in the hospital and so they didn't spend much time in the nursery but I was still running on adrenaline then. I remember one nurse coming in to talk to me before we left the hospital and telling me to call her anytime day or night if I needed to talk. She wanted me to know it was going to be hard but there was support out there if I needed it. I told her I could handle it and we left. I thought she was crazy until I found myself getting only 2 consecutive hours of sleep a night and loosing sense of reality that I soon realized this lady new what she was talking about. Well that was 4 1/2 years ago and this past week I officially signed Conner and Kelsey up for kindergarten!! A day I have been looking forward to since I brought them home from the hospital. Just making it through the first year was an accomplishment for me and I remember thinking if I could only make it to kindergarten things would get easier and they have but it makes me start missing when they were so little and cute.

• The days when I couldn't remember if it was night or day because I was up around the clocks with feedings.



• The days when crying was a way of communication in our house hold. Their was always one baby crying and most of the time two. When I could no longer nurse them at the same time often the one who I thought was hungrier would nurse first and the other had to fend for themselves for 10 minutes. Marc often would take the hungry one and walk around the house trying to pacify them.



• The days when McKenna started kindergarten and would come home first wash her hands and then change her shirt so she wouldn't get the babies sick.



• The days when I didn't even want to put up decorations for Christmas and my aunt Kathy and GG came to help.



• The days my mom would call to see how I was doing and comment that she didn't like to hear me cry and me telling her I cry every day.



• The days when I would just walk around the condo with two babies in my hands.
  


• The days when I found myself crying just because everyone else was.
  


• And the days when I walked around like a zombie because I truly felt like one.

I honestly thought those days would never end and they did. Now I don't know why I am so sad to see them going to kindergarten!?! This should be a happy time but as a reflect about the times they were babies I am afraid I was just in survival mode and didn't get to enjoy those days.